#TrumpBookReports (in 140 characters)

Clinton and Trump in their second debate

Clinton and Trump in their second debate

Friday

If you want some light Friday reading, Nancy LeTourneau at the Washington Monthly has alerted us to a twitter stream that was generated by the following Tweet about Wednesday night’s debate:

Trump’s foreign policy answers sound like a book report from a teenager who hasn’t read the book. “Oh, the grapes! They had so much wrath!”

Here are some of the best 140-character responses, starting with the ones noted by LeTourneau:

Juliet. Such a nasty woman. She made Romeo kill himself. And believe me he could have done better. Look at her.

Uncle Tom’s Cabin, worst cabin in the inner city. Terrible schools. Nasty women & bad hombres everywhere.

Lady Macbeth. Nasty woman. Blood coming out of her wherever.

This guy Sam says he likes green eggs & ham. Then he doesn’t. That’s why America doesn’t win any more. No leadership. Sad

Madeleine. Lives in a house in Paris. Great city. We have tremendous property there. I’ll be dating her in 10 years.

And here are some more, found at #TrumpBookReport:

Be, don’t be. This Hamlet guy needs to make up his mind. When I make up my mind, it’s great. I make the best decisions.

That Hamlet. Such a loser. Wrote a play to catch the king. When I’m prince, I won’t need a play. Believe me.

Sleeping Beauty? The Prince just started kissing her. Didn’t even ask. When you’re a prince they let you do it.

Look, I don’t know Voldemort. He said nice things about me. If we got along with the Death Eaters, wouldn’t be so bad.

That Giving Tree was a loser. It gave and gave and gave. Horrible deals. Ends up a stump. Schmuck.

Les Miserables, of course they are miserable, the inner city is a mess folks, believe me. People stealing bread everywhere.

The Hunger Games are rigged, folks. Everyone knows Katniss won because she played the woman card. Nasty woman. Very rigged.

Winnie the Pooh…don’t get me started. Low energy. Lazy. Overweight & no stamina. Always eating. He should be drug tested.

To Kill a Mockingbird? Nobody kills Mockingbirds better than me. I will kill the families of Mockingbirds. Believe me.

To Kill a Mockingbird? Believe me-if those mockingbirds had guns they wouldn’t have been killed.

Hilary had 30 years To Kill A Mockingbird, and she failed. A disaster! I know mockingbirds, I’ll launch a sneak attack.

I prefer the Mockingbirds that don’t get killed.

Anna Karenina. Such a nasty woman.

I like people who don’t fall under trains, OK?

I know more than those Russian generals do, believe me

That Rochester, he had some tremendously innovative approaches to dealing with his ex-wife. But he ended up with a 5. Sad!

It was the worst of times and the worst of times, OK? The worst. A disaster.

Gatsby? He says he was great. I don’t know. People are saying maybe not so great. I’ll make Gatsby great again.

Well, if you’ve got the crime, you’ve got to have the punishment. I believe in law and order, folks. Law. And. Order.

Sophie wouldn’t be my first choice is all I’m saying.

Fault? These stars are a disaster. A disaster, let me tell you. Believe me, I’m going to make stars great again.

Too many mice, not enough men. I’ll change that, believe me.

Who knows For Whom the Bell Tolls? It should toll for me, but the bell is rigged. Very rigged. Hemingway golfed with Bill.

Hester Prynne maybe a five. Believe me, Dimmesdale could do better. That Pearl, though. I’ll be dating her in 20 years.

I was against the war in Troy. Ask Hannity. And Helen was maybe a 6. She wouldn’t have been my first choice, believe me.

Huge whale. Tremendous Whale. Nobody has more respect for whales than me. Ahab’s Ship. Rigged. Sad.

Alice is hot. Maybe in ten years I will be dating her. Just grab her by the Cheshire Cat. Make Wonderland Great Again!

The first rule of Fight Club is I don’t have to accept the results of any fight I lose in Fight Club.

Those poor heights. They were wuthering. Wuthering so bad. Bigly wuthering. I’ll make them great again.

Narnia? Disaster. Very open borders in that wardrobe which is Hillary’s fault. Many many people pass through illegally.

Lolita. Beautiful woman. Phenomenal woman. In ten years, I’ll be dating her. That Humbert Humbert guy. So low-energy. Sad!

Where The Sidewalk Ends – Hillary has had 30 years to complete the sidewalk. It’s her fault the sidewalk ends.

Don Quixote was a loser, ok? He couldn’t even win against a windmill. Listen, I’ll beat all the windmills, believe me.

We’re gonna catch so much rye, you won’t believe it. We’re bringing those rye catching jobs to America.

The Western Front was so quiet. Too quiet, I say. I would never have left the western front like Hillary and Obama did.

Feel free to submit your own.

More #TrumpBookReports

The Huffington Post found some more good ones:

Pinocchio? He’s no puppet. No puppet. You’re the puppet!

Oedipus married his mother. Disgusting! She wouldn’t be my first choice, believe me!

Charlotte’s Web …Spider dies at the end… no stamina. What a loser.

Let’s just say I am the better salesman. It’s sad that he died, but I am better.

Catcher in the Rye. There used to be other grains. Terrific grains. The best grains. Hillary ruined this nation’s farms.

Voldemort was a bad guy, okay. He was a bad guy. But you know what he was very good at? Killing Muggles.

Nowhere does it say that anything actually happened between Lolita and Humbert, it was just boy talk.

There’s a Lord-and he’s got rings. Lots of rings. The best rings. And two of the best Towers anyone has seen.

This entry was posted in Bemelmans (Ludwig), Bronte (Charlotte), Bronte (Emily), Carroll (Lewis), Cervantes (Miguel de), Dickens (Charles), Dostoevsky (Fyodor), Dr. Seuss, Hawthorne (Nathaniel), Hemingway (Ernest), Homer, Hugo (Victor), Lee (Harper), Lewis (C. S.), Melville (Herman), Milne (A. A.), Rowling (J. K.), Salinger (J. D.), Shakespeare (William), Silverstein (Shel), Steinbeck (John), Stowe (Harriet Beecher), Styron (William), Tolstoy (Leo) and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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