Spiritual Sunday
I’ve recently been drawn to Madeleine L’Engle’s Advent poems, including “The winter is cold, is cold.” It’s not only the winter that is cold, the speaker makes clear, but her heart as well. One thing that keeps it frozen is closing it down so it won’t be hurt.
Opening ourselves up to joy is to render ourselves vulnerable. Better, we think, to shrink from the wound and look for happiness that is
Small, safety-seeking, dulled,
Selfish, exclusive, in-turned.
We won’t find peace that way, however, given that the peace we desire comes only “when it’s not sought.” In her references to a knight encased in “ancient suits of mail,” L’Engle may be borrowing an image from Adrienne Rich’s “The Knight,” where a man finds himself similarly entrapped.
Therefore, the speaker asks God to help her forget the cold world and reach for God’s warmth, which she characterizes as “purifying fire.” Once she does so, the coldness in her heart will melt so that it will beat once again.
The winter is cold, is cold.
All’s spent in keeping warm.
Has joy been frozen, too?
I blow upon my hands
Stiff from the biting wind.
My heart beats slow, beats slow.
What has become of joy?If joy’s gone from my heart
Then it is closed to You
Who made it, gave it life.
If I protect myself
I’m hiding, Lord, from you.
How we defend ourselves
In ancient suits of mail!Protected from the sword,
Shrinking from the wound,
We look for happiness,
Small, safety-seeking, dulled,
Selfish, exclusive, in-turned.
Elusive, evasive, peace comes
Only when it’s not sought.Help me forget the cold
That grips the grasping world.
Let me stretch out my hands
To purifying fire,
Clutching fingers uncurled.
Look! Here is the melting joy.
My heart beats once again.