Friday Memories of Books That Shook My World
As tomorrow is Halloween, I share one of my most frightening encounters with a horror story. Although I was a teenager when I first read Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell-Tale Heart,” to this day I vividly remember vibrating with terror. It didn’t help that I read it after midnight in my attic room.
Never before had I had such a visceral encounter with story. I was especially haunted by the narrator’s fascination with the old man’s eye.
I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture — a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees — very gradually — I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.
On the night of the murder, sensing that someone is in the room, the victim has his eye open so that the narrator’s lantern falls directly upon it:
When I had waited a long time, very patiently, without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little — a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it — you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily — until, at length a single dim ray, like the thread of the spider, shot from out the crevice and fell upon the vulture eye.
It was open — wide, wide open — and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness — all a dull blue, with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones; but I could see nothing else of the old man’s face or person: for I had directed the ray as if by instinct, precisely upon the damned spot.
I also remember being struck by the narrator’s claim to be rational throughout the story:
True! — nervous — very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily — how calmly I can tell you the whole story.
He continues to insist this until the end, when his façade finally breaks and he reveals to the police his rising hysteria, along with the murder.
Why did this particular horror story stand out, surpassing “The Cask of Amontillado.” (A teacher had entertained us with a very effective performance of “Amontillado” but it was nothing like this.) Reading it in bed after midnight accounted for some of the horror, but I think there was more to my response.
Being raised in a professor’s family meant that rationality was our m.o. We were products of the Enlightenment, and as Michel Foucault points out (in Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason), Enlightenment thinkers had a particular problem with madness. Philosophy was to have no truck with it, and, unlike officials in earlier ages, authorities separated madness out from society and locked it up. “You’re not being rational” was a reproof that had some weight with me.
The obsession with the eye, the most rational of the senses, therefore makes sense. The narrator feels that the old man’s eye can penetrate his calm exterior, for all his daytime smiling and “calling him by name in a hearty tone.” He senses that the old man can perceive an inner madness that he himself doesn’t want to admit is there. He must shut that eye for ever.
Poe is famous for planting his feet on both sides of the rationality/madness divide. On the one hand, with Dupin he invented the soft-boiled detective, forerunner of Holmes and Poirot, whose powers of “ratiocination” astound the police. On the other hand, there are the incursions into insanity that Poe is famous for, with “The Black Cat” and “Amontillado” joining “Tell-Tale.” In “Murders of the Rue Morgue” the two sides come together, with Dupin pitted against the animality of an orangutang.
Part of my fascination, then, may have been with the irrational part of myself that I was denying. I remember a few years later being struck, while reading Nietzsche’s Birth of Tragedy for a college ethics class, by philosopher Schopenhauer’s image of a sailor trusting in his “frail barque.” Meanwhile, he sits “in the midst of a stormy sea, unbounded in every direction, rising and falling with howling mountainous waves.” As an Apollonian he thinks he can sit there calmly, but Dionysus threatens to overwhelm him utterly. I thought I should be Apollo, even though I sensed Dionysian forces at work.
The ending of “Tell-Tale Heart” functioned as a wake-up call. The police were the quiet world around me, which I mistook for reality, but inside I could sense another dynamic:
[T]he noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder — louder — louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled.
Perhaps the ending of the story worked as an acknowledgement that I was not as much in rational control of my life as I thought I was supposed to be:
Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! — no, no! They heard! — they suspected! — they knew! — they were making a mockery of my horror! — this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! — and now — again! — hark! louder! louder! louder! louder! —
“Villains!” I shrieked, “dissemble no more! I admit the deed! — tear up the planks! — here, here! — it is the beating of his hideous heart!”
I’ve detected the same dynamic in my response to wolf man stories, with the Lon Chaney, Jr. Wolf Man being my first horror film and Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining being the scariest film I have ever seen. While I was pretty sure that I would never grab an axe and go after my kids, there were times in my parenting life when I was close to losing it.
Who knows what darkness lies beneath a rational exterior? (Answer: Poe knows.)










