Imagine Lit Characters in Reality TV

Everett, Firth in The Importance of Being Earnest

Thursday

I came across this enjoyable tweet from one Ross Danniel Bullen, who imagines a Victorian version of the House Hunters television show:

Host: I—

Henry James: I should like a kitchen whose concept is – how shall I conceive of it – not closed, not in some way occluded, but bright, agape, unrestrained as a verdant Tuscan meadow; open, in so many words…

Host: And that’s the full 22 minutes

It got me thinking about other authors who could contribute to television shows. Can you identify the quotations?

The Bachelor

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. – 

The Bachelorette

“You are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”

Project Runway:

“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.”

Jeopardy

Host: “Quadruped.  Graminivorous.  Forty teeth, namely twenty-four grinders, four eye-teeth, and twelve incisive.  Sheds coat in the spring; in marshy countries, sheds hoofs, too.  Hoofs hard, but requiring to be shod with iron.  Age known by marks in mouth.”

Bitzer: What is horse?

Lost

“Let’s go.”
“We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“We’re waiting for Godot.”

Send in your own suggestions. (And check out the tags for the works.)

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