The L. A. Rams and Chaucer’s Miller

Tuesday

I’m experiencing déjà vu after seeing the Los Angeles Rams in the playoffs. When I was a teenager and just becoming interested in football, my beloved Minnesota Vikings were always encountering the Los Angeles Rams in playoff games. Then the Rams became the St. Louis Rams, but now they’re the Los Angeles Rams again, and this time they’re going to the Super Bowl. Life is funny that way.

When it comes to rams, I often think of Chaucer’s Miller, who wins rams in wrestling contests. He also has a very football-type hobby—and ram-like activity–which I’ll let Chaucer tell you about:

The MILLER was a stout fellow indeed;                 
He was very strong of muscle, and also of bones.                 
That was well proven, for wherever he came,                 
At wrestling he would always have the ram.                 
He was stoutly built, broad, a large-framed fellow;                 
There was no door that he would not heave off its hinges,                 
Or break it by running at it with his head.

It’s worth mentioning that a very ram-like move helped the Rams get into the Super Bowl. In an uncalled penalty that Saints fans will rail about for decades, a Ram defender butted a wide receiver before he got the ball in a play the League itself says should have been flagged for pass interference. The score was tied at the time and the Saints were in field goal range, so in all probability New Orleans would have run down the clock and then won the game with a last-second field goal. Instead, they kicked the field goal with enough time on the clock for the Rams to come back and tie the game. Then Los Angeles won in overtime.

So the Rams, who like to pound the ball, got in when someone else should have. That’s like the Miller as well, who butts in and insists on telling his tale after the gentile Knight has told his. The innkeeper, serving as master of ceremonies, wants the Monk to go second–he has the second highest rank of the pilgrims–but the Miller will not be denied:

“Now tell you, sir Monk, if you can,                   
Something to equal the Knight’s tale.”                   
The Miller, who for drunkenness was all pale,                   
So that he hardly sat upon his horse,                   
He would not doff neither hood nor hat,                   
Nor give preference to any man out of courtesy,                   
But in Pilate’s voice he began to cry,                   
And swore, “By (Christ’s) arms, and by blood and bones,                   
I know a noble tale for this occasion,                   
With which I will now requite the Knight’s tale.”                   
Our Host saw that he was drunk on ale,                   
And said, “Wait, Robin, my dear brother;                   
Some better man shall first tell us another.                   
Wait, and let us act properly.”

“By God’s soul,” said he, “that will not I;                   
For I will speak or else go my way.”                   
Our Host answered, “Tell on, in the devil’s name!                   
Thou art a fool; thy wit is overcome.”

“Now listen,” said the Miller, “everyone!                   
But first I make a protestation                   
That I am drunk; I know it by my sound.                   
And therefore if that I misspeak or say (amiss),                   
Blame it on ale of Southwerk, I you pray.

The tale he relates serves as a bawdy counterpoint to the Knight’s refined story. It’s also the tale my students most remember.

One other thing. Ram fans can tell me if any of their players physically resemble the Miller. Here’s Chaucer’s description:

His beard was red as any sow or fox,                 
And moreover broad, as though it were a spade.                 
Upon the exact top of his nose he had                 
A wart, and thereon stood a tuft of hairs,                 
Red as the bristles of a sow’s ears;                 
His nostrils were black and wide.                 
He wore a sword and a buckler by his side.                 
His mouth was as large as a large furnace.                 
He was a loudmouth and a buffoon,                 
And that was mostly of sin and deeds of harlotry.

For all the smarts of quarterbacks and the artistry of wide receivers, at its core football is a game where each team tries to push the ball down the other team’s throat. Chaucer’s Miller would feel right at home.