Monday
It’s been just over a month since the Russians invaded Ukraine and virtually everyone is surprised–not only at the effectiveness of the Ukrainian resistance but at the poor showing of the Russian army. It appears now that the Ukrainians have killed seven Russian generals, an astounding number. I’ve seen three tweeters turning to literature to capture the situation, sometimes resorting to dark humor.
First, there is “Decoding Trolls,” who writes that Russia
has done a Reverse-Napoleon. Tolstoy brilliantly shows Russian General Kutuzov’s strategy in War & Peace: draw the French further & in, so their supply lines are stretched. Napoleon sat in Moscovy waiting for Moscovy to surrender. Never did. French died retreating.
Tweeter Mark Gongloff (@markgongloff), meanwhile, does a riff on an Oscar Wilde line in The Importance of Being Earnest. Towards the end of the play, Jack must reveal to Lady Bracknell that he doesn’t know who his parents were:
Bracknell: Are your parents living?
Jack: I have lost both my parents.
Bracknell: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Here’s Mark Gongloff’s tweet:
To lose one general is a misfortune, to lose two er three er four what five oops six um seven just looks careless.
Actually, there’s an explanation for the high loss rate. As an article in the Washginton Post explains,
Military analysts and Western intelligence officials say the Russian generals in Ukraine may be more exposed and serving closer to the front because their side is struggling — and that senior officers are deployed closer to the action to cut through the chaos.
One Western official suggested that Russian generals were also needed to push “frightened” Russian troops, including raw conscripts, forward.
Finally, tweeter “Andrej” riffs off of the “Modern Major General” in Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance. If you know the song, you’ll recall that this particular general’s knowledge is vast until it comes to modern warfare. As he puts it, “For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and Adventury/ Has only been brought down to the beginning of the Century.” This means that he has not yet learned to distinguish “a Mauser rifle from a javelin,” and he knows no more about tactics, elemental strategy, or “what progress has been made in modern gunnery” than “a novice in a nunnery.”
Andrej finds similar incompetence in the Russian commanders:
I am the very model of a Russian Major General
My standing in the battlefield is growing quite untenable
My forces, though equipped and given orders unequivocal
Did not expect the fight to be remotely this reciprocalI used to have a tank brigade but now I have lost several
My fresh assaults are faltering with battle plans extemporal
I can’t recover vehicles but farmers in a tractor can
It’s all becoming rather reminiscent of AfghanistanMy ordnance is the best but only half my missiles make it there
I would have thought by now that we would be controllers of the air
But at the rate the snipers work my time here is ephemeral
I am the very model of a Russian Major General
In times of war, one looks anywhere one can for a little humor.
